October 2007
This new man that walked into Todd's life is about to impact his life like no other. Todd and Tom had spent every single night and day together after that first night at the club. Todd made a direct path to Tom's door every night right after work. He invested every minute into Tom, and knew that he had stolen his heart.
They really enjoyed each other’s company. They had been seeing each other for about three months now. Tom had dinner ready, roses on the table, as we sat and ate dinner. Tom said "I cleared some of my drawers out for when you visit." Todd said that he appreciated it. Tom said, "Well, what I mean is I am ready for us to make this a lifetime commitment. I want you to move in with me." Todd couldn't speak, but when he did he started to cry and said "there is nothing I want more, I love you Tom." So, they began their story book romance. They enjoyed the same things; camping, hiking, aquariums, softball, and pop music.
They were living a life that they both enjoyed. One that neither one could find anything wrong with. They were so well suited for one another.
After about 15 months, Tom had decided he was missing home and his job was up that way. He and Todd decided to make the move that way. It was so nice, out in the country, but right next to the in-laws. They were pretty well off, but seemed to think Todd was a gold digger. This is the point, when things started getting rocky. Not to mention, Todd was getting frustrated not finding a job there, and feeling like a bum.
They were working on their second year together now, and Todd had never been away from his mom and siblings for that long. He was really missing home and crying about it a lot. He was very family oriented and depressed at this time.
So, one evening Tom came home from work and said that he had done some thinking. He suggested that he quit his job of ten years, and move to Ohio with me. I couldn't believe that someone could just do that for someone. He really loved Todd. So, they moved back to Ohio.
This was Todd's first real male-to-male relationship. He was madly in love, but not sure how to act in a relationship. He just knew that he was jealous and did not like Tom talking to anyone. Todd was even so jealous, he didn't trust Tom with his family.
Todd never realized that loving someone so much could result in them ultimately leaving you. Tom and Todd started arguing about who Tom was talking to. It was ridiculous, but first relationships, it seems you never know the rules of the game. It is all about life experience.
It finally came down to it, and Tom had decided that he was moving back home without Todd. Tom called Todd one night at work, and told him he was leaving. Todd said "Okay." He really didn't think that he would leave without seeing him first. Then Todd's mom called him at work, and said that he had really left.
Todd lost it, started crying, walked out of his job and quit. He then packed up the following week and jumped on the bus back to Alabama to see if he could get Tom back.
Tom was really done with him. Todd waited one night after the bar closed and chased Tom down. He nearly killed them both, running him off the road, and pledging his undying love for him but Tom told him it would never be again.
Todd realized at this point, that it really was over. Todd started living a reckless life of drinking and partying. Next week, be prepared for a downward spiral.
Taking a break from the story. We bring you Todd's thoughts.
As summer ends, Todd takes time to reflect on his childhood. A time when things were so simple. When time seemed to stand still and never run out.
The childhood friendships, the bonds between two people who shared similarities. A childhood where lying was not a part of who we were. Innocence stolen, something that hormones and people tear away from you. It is a part of growing up seeing the world and its flaws.
Some of Todd's best memories are of amusement parks, the goldfish won, getting on the rides, being dizzy afterwards, and the smell of popcorn and the light flavor of cotton candy.
Not to mention, the endless nights of lying in the backyard or on the driveway just looking up at the stars with your siblings and friends just talking about nothing. Endless chit chat with no concept of time.
A time when curiosity is your best friend, wanting to try everything, to touch everything, and the wanting to bring home any living thing you find amazing. Todd remembers bringing home everything from frogs, lizards, and snakes to cats, dogs, and turtles. It didn't matter what it was, he wanted the world.
The only thing that was a constant void was the unconditional love of a father, and the time spent together learning to play ball, watching sports, and just being a normal growing boy. It is something he can't get back but wonders why. He treasures his childhood, at least the good times that he remembers. He even recognizes and appreciates the bad things that happened, because they ultimately define who he is today.
He owes all he has to his mother and her unconditional love. Not only her but his siblings, they battled some of the worse scenarios to bear but came out alive and well through it all. For that he owes God and acknowledges that all things are possible through Christ.
He remembers a week after the final decision to end the relationship between he and Tom, going to Portfolio's and becoming exasperated. He manages to make it to the round bar, a section of the bar for cowboys. He picks up a cowboy, takes him into the bathroom and has oral sex with him. He then journeys from there to the top bar, where he picks a guy up named Ty, takes him back to his apartment and has sex with him. The gentleman leaves, Todd then, just hops back into his car, goes back to Portfolio's and has sex with another stranger.
He has become a reckless mess, until the owner of the bar notices the lashing out by Todd. He then calls Todd over to the end of the bar and consoles him and tells him it can only get better. Todd seemed to listen. I mean, he is still drinking every night, but he isn't sleeping around like he was.
The owner of the bar was very cute and had finally just asked Todd if he would like to be his boyfriend. They dated for quite sometime. Todd even took a job for him at Portfolio's. Upon taking the job, he met this wonderful guy named Rex. A gorgeous blonde kid, about 21 at the time. He has instantly developed a crush and realized that Rex had more life in him than anyone he had met prior to this. This attracted Todd immensely.
Anyway, Rex had invited Todd to an after hours party at his place. Everyone was intoxicated. Todd and Rex made mad love that night, but the next day they were back to being friends. They had become such close friends and they had made a pact that they would never let their sexual relations ruin their friendship. Until this day, they are still best friends.
They finally left Alabama. Todd mentioned moving to Florida to work for his father. When Rex heard, he said " I would love to get away from here." So, he decided that he was going with Todd, along with this straight girl, Sue. She was secretly in love with Rex but became their” fag hag”.
They moved down to Florida, right after the largest hurricane in history, Hurricane Andrew.
This was quite a shock for them. Upon arriving they found the place was completely demolished. There were hardly any houses standing. They began roofing on houses at 5 AM until, often, ten at night. While they relished the amounts of money they were making, they just could not believe the sorrow in our hearts. There were miles and miles of tents, where people had lost everything. They were literally ,now, homeless people trying to live day to day.
The children once laughing, were now crying out for food and warmth. Todd could not fathom why this hurricane hit, but it clearly landmarked one of the most deadly events in history. This is something that Todd, Rex, or Sue will never forget, and the feelings of loss and sadness were overwhelming.
They were so glad to be getting out of there and moving to a part of Florida now, that had not been destroyed by the storm. Normal as far as the way it looks and people living life day to day. So, join Todd, Rex, and Sue next week in sunny Florida as they try to forget Hurricane Andrew’s disastrous effects.
You have found out a lot about my life thus far. Everything from the rocky relationship with my father, to the wonderful mother I have. I cannot believe that I have survived with my life and sanity to this point. I, however, believe in and support the saying–“ What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!” This is something that has totally rung true in my life.
I cannot believe I am the level headed individual I am, nor that I believe in people like I do. You would think after all the bad and tragedy. would have become hardened and bitter. I believe that God has prevented this from happening in order for me to help others and keep them from following down the reckless paths that I have traveled.
My future may appear not to be that significant, but in some small way I believe that I am making a difference in the world. It has taken me a long time to get to this point, but now that I have. I do not believe anyone could make me see the big picture more clearly.
This week, I just want to tell each of you to face your dreams and fears. If you can do this, you are going to see a much stronger and stable person than ever before. We all see heroes in others, I think now you should see the hero in you.
This week, I challenge you to sit down and write a piece about yourself that makes you different and special to the world. Your super power, so to speak. I would love to hear how you came out.
Its time to find our inner spirit and see that life is but what we make it and grow from it.
Thanks for listening, and I hope that you enjoy my life in a small town... Todd
Todd is now living a very dangerous life. His one true love has left him and the only thing that helps the pain is a drink. He has moved into a apartment complex that is two blocks from a gay bar called "Portfolio's." So, he decides to quit his job and lay drunk. This downward spiral doesn't stop here, he becomes very reckless sexually, as well.
He remembers a week after the final decision to end the relationship between he and Tom, going to Portfolio's and becoming exasperated. He manages to make it to the round bar, a section of the bar for cowboys. He picks up a cowboy, takes him into the bathroom and has oral sex with him. He then journeys from there to the top bar, where he picks a guy up named Ty, takes him back to his apartment and has sex with him. The gentleman leaves, Todd then, just hops back into his car, goes back to Portfolio's and has sex with another stranger.
He has become a reckless mess, until the owner of the bar notices the lashing out by Todd. He then calls Todd over to the end of the bar and consoles him and tells him it can only get better. Todd seemed to listen. I mean, he is still drinking every night, but he isn't sleeping around like he was.
The owner of the bar was very cute and had finally just asked Todd if he would like to be his boyfriend. They dated for quite sometime. Todd even took a job for him at Portfolio's. Upon taking the job, he met this wonderful guy named Rex. A gorgeous blonde kid, about 21 at the time. He has instantly developed a crush and realized that Rex had more life in him than anyone he had met prior to this. This attracted Todd immensely.
Anyway, Rex had invited Todd to an after hours party at his place. Everyone was intoxicated. Todd and Rex made mad love that night, but the next day they were back to being friends. They had become such close friends and they had made a pact that they would never let their sexual relations ruin their friendship. Until this day, they are still best friends.
They finally left Alabama. Todd mentioned moving to Florida to work for his father. When Rex heard, he said " I would love to get away from here." So, he decided that he was going with Todd, along with this straight girl, Sue. She was secretly in love with Rex but became their” fag hag”.
They moved down to Florida, right after the largest hurricane in history, Hurricane Andrew.
This was quite a shock for them. Upon arriving they found the place was completely demolished. There were hardly any houses standing. They began roofing on houses at 5 AM until, often, ten at night. While they relished the amounts of money they were making, they just could not believe the sorrow in our hearts. There were miles and miles of tents, where people had lost everything. They were literally ,now, homeless people trying to live day to day.
It was totally disheartening and was taking a toll on all of them. They finally decided to get out of there to preserve their sanity. This had been the most enlightening experience of Todd's life. It had made him realize that he was a lucky man. Not only to be alive, but to have the things he had. The devastation of a community that was once so full of life, was now rubble and debris. The yards that were once filled with children playing and people enjoying their homes, had turned into rock quarries.
The children once laughing, were now crying out for food and warmth. Todd could not fathom why this hurricane hit, but it clearly landmarked one of the most deadly events in history. This is something that Todd, Rex, or Sue will never forget, and the feelings of loss and sadness were overwhelming.
They were so glad to be getting out of there and moving to a part of Florida now, that had not been destroyed by the storm. Normal as far as the way it looks and people living life day to day. So, join Todd, Rex, and Sue next week in sunny Florida as they try to forget Hurricane Andrew’s disastrous effects.
This week, Life in a Small Town takes a small bizarre twist. It is going from third person to first.
So, this week I want to introduce myself. I am Todd, as you know from the first issue I have had a liver transplant some time back. I am doing well now, but things were often very rough. I have started my story at the very beginning.
You have found out a lot about my life thus far. Everything from the rocky relationship with my father, to the wonderful mother I have. I cannot believe that I have survived with my life and sanity to this point. I, however, believe in and support the saying–“ What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!” This is something that has totally rung true in my life.
I cannot believe I am the level headed individual I am, nor that I believe in people like I do. You would think after all the bad and tragedy. would have become hardened and bitter. I believe that God has prevented this from happening in order for me to help others and keep them from following down the reckless paths that I have traveled.
My future may appear not to be that significant, but in some small way I believe that I am making a difference in the world. It has taken me a long time to get to this point, but now that I have. I do not believe anyone could make me see the big picture more clearly.
This week, I just want to tell each of you to face your dreams and fears. If you can do this, you are going to see a much stronger and stable person than ever before. We all see heroes in others, I think now you should see the hero in you.
This week, I challenge you to sit down and write a piece about yourself that makes you different and special to the world. Your super power, so to speak. I would love to hear how you came out.
Its time to find our inner spirit and see that life is but what we make it and grow from it.
Thanks for listening, and I hope that you enjoy my life in a small town... Todd
bravenet.com