Living my life has been anything but easy. I battle some days more than others. I battle bouts of depression from so many nights alone and no outside life or contact except a few times a year. Sometimes it gets very tough to overcome the feelings of worthlessness, the feelings of not having anyone and the feelings of being completely alone and unloved in this world.
Yet every day, I overcome the desire to stay in bed and wither away. I find a place deep with inside myself that says, "Get up! Your life is worth living, even if you can't see it." These are the uncontrollable bad days.
When I have a good day, I think of all the new wonderful friends I have made because of the internet. They make me realize that I do have friends and maybe some that actually care about what happens to me.
Then there are the damn good days when I realize the impact that West Virginia Queer News has on some people. We here at the magazine work so hard each week, to add an element of enjoyment to your week. Then my worthlessness goes to realizing I still have a purpose in life.
While my transplant has obviously left me half a man, I realize it is better than having no life at all. I thank God every day for the extra time I have on earth, and each and every day I get more time to meet new and incredible inspirations whom I call friends.
You all make life bearable and worthwhile. "Let's Go Eeers!" (You might here this from afar) You and your friends are about to embark on history. This is a game like no other. Two teams are about to battle it out for the right to be called the best in the country. Who will prevail? Only the true legends know! Today is your day. It is the chance to get out there and celebrate your team. You join other likeminded individuals to cheer on their team of choice. It is all about camaraderie, one that compels us to suck down a few suds and relish these memories for years to come. It's called tailgating, the beer is flowing, and a football is flying amongst friends. Everyone imagines what it would be like to be out there among the greatest football players alive. It's West Virginia. It's West Virginia The pride of every Mountaineer, Come on you old grad, join with us young lads, It's West Virginia now we cheer, Rah Rah. no matter what the people say, For its not to fear the gang is all here, So, hail to West Virginia, Hail! When we hear the bell toll, we venture into the stadium with loud cries for our home team. We make way to the place of legends. Then we readily await those words, "Let's bring on the Mountaineers!" Many of us feel less attractive, often not big enough in certain areas. We felt inept and incapable of finding love because we do not measure up in one way or another. My personal issue with feeling inept is by my scar from transplantation. For me, it seems so ugly and appears to have split my body into two halves. As great as it may seem, my friends tell me it does not look bad at all and that I worry too much. Comparatively thinking though, do I really care what others think of me? Obviously, I do at times. At least, where my appearance is concerned. This community seems to center around what is beautiful in it; when in fact, at times it seems to have the most ugly of faces. That is, within the constraints of its own community. You would think after all the adversity, struggles, and personal attacks from those who do not understand what it means to be homosexual that we would unite as a group, instead of being so vividly separate within our own group. Our community internally doesn’t work well together in wishing each other happiness. We seem to be way too critical of one another. When each one of us is sure to have one or two skeletons in our closet, there are just way too many bashings within our community. You would think now that it is essential to come together to protect our rights as American citizens that we would work together, acknowledge and embrace our differences. How can we expect the government to give rights to us? When we seem to be so critical of one another? One thing I have learned throughout my life is, I accept people for who they are. Not for the way they dress, how much money they make, or what they drive. How can you judge someone by material worth? Personally if you are like that, you have no place in my life. I look into the soul of the person. I explore their hearts and find where their priorities lie. It is affairs of the hearts and how we handle them, which truly makes us the person we are. I see so many people depleted by our own community, that they have closed themselves off to love. Is this the right thing to do? NO, its not! Just because there is a lot of stones out there that we will have to sort through, there is always one gem amongst the mess of them. So, before you judge someone, find out who they are. Great things come in many shapes and forms. Do you really want to say later, I let that one go!
For its the time boy to make a big noise,
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