THE DATING GAME
When creating a profile for any site in your mad search for love, it is like a prerequisite to potential boyfriends. There are a lot of areas you need to cover to create a successful one to at least attract others to read on and possibly hook up for that first date.
The first one is age and we all have a birthday, so what can be so tough here? It just seems like many wish to lie in this department. Some do it because they look younger or because they just do not want others to know exactly how old they are. When they ask your age, they ask it so others can know your real age. So, be real guys! If someone won't talk to you because of that, move on, they're not worth it. Beginning a relationship or new-found friendship on a lie never works. Once the trust is gone, a relationship is doomed!
Then there are the photos. While looks are not everything, physical attraction is important to many of us. Adding a picture though is essential because not only is it good to let others know who they are talking to but it gives credibility to them actually speaking to a real person.
Make sure you keep your photos current and be sure you can be seen in it.
The best photos are the ones that show the real you. If you normally smiling, smile. If you always wear a baseball cap, then wear one. If once every six months you like to wear a tu tu, I would just save that for later, not for your profile photo.
Then there are the adult photos, this is not for me. If you are in search of love, you more than likely do not want to see an ass or dick shot. But you could be one of those people who are looking for sex and that is fine as long as your profile says exactly that.Remember though if searching for love, leave something to the imagination. While an adult photo may give you more attention, are they really the ones you want chasing you?
Now ask yourself, what am I really looking for?
So, if you aren't looking for sex. Don't mark the box that says "action/sex". Because once you mark that box you are not going to only attract people looking for a relationship, you will also attract those after one night stands.
And if you are truly looking for a relationship, try to stop hooking up for quick sex online. Just like the gay community, the online community is well-connected, and people talk. You just want to make sure you represent yourself as truly as you can. You never know if the guy you hooked up with last night happens to be best friends with the guy you have a date with tomorrow. Trust me, it happens!
Then its time to write the section, about you!
This is where a person can stress out. What do you write about yourself?
Write a little bit about your personality, what you like to do. Talk about the qualities you actually possess. Explain why you are online and what results you want to achieve.
Stay away from being negative. We all have been burnt on dates or relationships; you don't need to share the bitterness in your profile. Let it go for the opportunity to start anew.
Remember to talk about yourself and not what you are looking for. Many profiles list what they are looking for or not looking for in someone. This section is about you, not your dating criteria.
I hope these tips help you feel more comfortable creating a "relationship-focused" profile. Just remember in the dating game, there are both good and bad people. In your search, I would suggest a few dates before taking the plunge into the bedroom. I think then you will see who is truly looking for love and the next piece of ass or conquest!
Just be honest and true to yourself. Ask for honest feedback from friends if you're not getting results you want. Most of all, have fun and enjoy the dating game.
The Outside Looking In
Wonderment, a terrible feelings, a sense of not knowing. A feeling, where you have no control over the outcome of a situation.
I have found myself in this place as of late and it honestly scares me to death. I for one, can not stand to be fearful of anything.
I have fell in love with a man, who confessed his love for me but there are times when I feel like we are fighting a battle we can't win. Everything is against us, including the phones where he is at. lol
Regardless of my strong feelings for him, there are somethings I can't and won't do just because I don't want to harbor any resentment and more than that feel a sense of being used.
Although, once he arrives here, things will be different. Right now, until we meet and really cap off where this relationship is going. I need to not only feel it mentally but I have got to feel it physically. Then I will be ready to do anything for him.
It is a safety mechanism and there is nothing wrong with protecting ones self.
I love him and will continue to do as I have but more than that is not possible until I see his want, as much as mine.
Once he moves here, we will be inseparable and things will fall in place.
His love is mine for the taking and in four or five weeks, we will see if it was all worth it and if his trust was ever an issue. I believe he loves me and that he will come here like he says, but only time will tell.
The whole thing with the situation is, I don't like being on the outside looking in!
Amazes Me
One thing can be said about the Stonewall in Huntington, WV, it is the place for a perfect party atmosphere. This club continues to rebuild on what made them successful in the beginning, great entertainment, dance music, wonderfully prepared drinks, and the friendliest staff I have ever seen.
More than that though, the guys in charge at the Stonewall do so much more for the LGBT commuity. When someone asks for help, they are there with a open heart and a open invitation. Keith, Eric, and Bob go above and beyond for a community that often leaves them out of everything.
Just this past weekend when most bar owners would be home relaxing after a crazy Saturday night at the club. They were out helping and setting up a carnival for the Tri-state AIDS Task Force and even took part in the dunking booths. This is not the first charity they have either helped out with or hosted. Just recently they have welcomed into their club, a new bear club, The Bear Men of WV.
They continue to put out their hand to anyone who needs a place as a venue or as a place of support in the way of charity or entertainment. These guys continue to be a successful part of what makes our community bright and for that, WV Queer News and so many others commend you for being an active and working part of West Virginia's gay community.
I just wanted to thank the Stonewall for being one of the leaders in the community and let them know if there is ever anything I can do, do not hesitate to ask. Your open heart and mind continues to amaze me and it also reminds me that there is truly good in others!
Fear
All of us fear at least one thing in life. For many of us, it is the fear of rejection. The chance of asking someone to go out and then getting a no for answer, instantly scarring us for life and potentially setting us up for never doing it again.
I personally fear, not knowing where a relationship is going. I mean, I have found the person I want to spend forever with and I am sure that I am going no where. My fear is that it is quite possible some day in the future he will grow old with me and move on, leaving me to fend for myself and being too old to get anyone else. Even though, I am the type of person who takes chances I still fear the unknown and worry alot.
For others, fear can be child trauma related. Such as being scared of the dark, fear of snakes and reptiles that have been seen as horror flicks, not to mention the fear of heights, being confined to a small area, and so many more.
Many people fear life and live in a world of seclusion. They do it because their anxiety is so high they do not know how to react with other people and potentially be a working part of society.
The one thing we all must realize as human beings is the fact that like anything else in life. You have to learn to face the inevitable, often meaning facing your fears head on. What I mean is that you must learn to adapt and to react to the fear. Often climbing up that ladder, or in that crawl space that is only a foot wide, or facing the chance of being rejected or left in a relationship. We only grow stronger through trial and error, we essentially become thicker skinned and develop a process of not setting ourselves up for the bad experience that happened the first time around.
Fear is what you make it, if you face it, you can turn it into a lesson learned and a way of adapting to a stronger YOU.
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