December 2008
WHAT A DRAG!
Drag queens have been around since the beginning of gay life. They are both loved and hated in our community. For those of us who have truly researched on gay rights, we know that the drag queen is one of the true activists and by far one of the first ones to demand our rights and take a beating to get our voice heard.
Even yet, today they are bashed too. Not always so much by the people who do not like fags, although there are still some gay-haters out there, they are bashed by their own community because they have been around so long and the bars CHOOSE to only have drag as their line of entertainment for the weekends. How is this their fault and when will you realize that for some this is a way of life? Whether it is paying their bills or simply living life as a woman.
I have to say, I came out well over 20 years back. I too, after about 15 started to get bored with the drag scene, but my love for it was brought back after my first ever Ms West Virginia Queer News pageant. I think it was the allure of having someone to represent our magazine; it was about finding an individual who cares about the community. One who truly knows what it means to be one with their community; one who understands what commitment means and accepts any challenges put in front of them.
Female illusions is an art, many of these girls master their craft and totally dominate the stage. They often win title after title, while others do not run in pageants because it is the element of living as two sexes and not having to choose one.
I see the drag community, most of them as inspirations. They work very hard for what little bit of money they make and now with times getting so hard they will be basically working for peanuts. So, today I take my hats off to all the performers. You are what make a community strong and I relish in the fact that you have got my back. If you look back to Stonewall, you will see the drag community was strong. If you open your eyes today, you can see they are still strong. We should be supporting anyone who provides a service in our community. Are they not fighting to keep us on the map? I think so! At this time, I just say kudos and thanks for the memories!
I do though want to touch on the shady queens. You know whom you are, stealing, cheating, lying and pissing on anyone who gets in your way. I am not going to say anything more to you than karma has a way of biting you in the ass; and for a few of you, its happening now and deserved! For those of you who have gotten away with it, watch out she is coming.
Recently, I have felt the effects of getting older. Not to mention, the fact that I had a liver transplant that certainly impact my life in a lot of different ways.
Growing older signifies change, and the biggest change I have seen is the graceful change of my body. The metabolism slows down; the weight begins to come on. For most of us, if we do not watch the foods we eat, we can go from being average to pleasantly plump in a matter of days. The biggest thing I began to notice is the gray hair. Those dreaded little boogers that show up everywhere. I mean, we can color them but me; I would rather grow old gracefully and be proud of the person that God has made me, while the body begins to wither away, one step at a time.
The most positive change for me is the fact that our brains are developing to new highs. You start to see life clearer and you began to realize the things that are most important to you. I feel for me, that I have lived my life and settling down and setting some life goals is key for me. I am certainly not as fast as I was, nor can I party as much as the younger crowd does, but I can do it with poise and rationality now.
While all this remains to be true, the most positive thing I take from growing old is the fact that I am grounded. By grounded, I mean, that I know what I want from life and I have begun to perceive exactly what you are supposed to get from it. I believe that is love and happiness. While I still venture out to find it, I tread a very narrow path and yet a very dismal and less than appropriate place to find "the one."
I believe in finding love, you are not going to find it in a bar. While I enjoy my nights out at Woodstarr and other clubs. I believe the only way that I am going to find something substantial and meaningful in life is finding it elsewhere, through friends, church, or even local functions or charity events that are driven by positive things in our community.
You also learn many lessons along the way. I have learned in our community that you have to be very careful of whom you call friends and those that substantially really care about you. Our community may be demanding rights; at times I do not believe we deserve them when our perception of a good time is ripping each other apart.
The fun of going into a club, seeing two people obviously in love and doing all we can do to pull them apart, is wrong. I mean come on guys, shouldn't we be happy for them? Shouldn't we accept they might have found happiness and we should just be glad for them rather than having the mentality, if I can't find love, why should they?
I for one, accept that I may not find true love again but one thing is for sure, if I do my time and nights will be limited in the bars and social functions that require alcohol are probably a thing of the past. If I have learned one thing about gay people, it is the fact that alcohol takes away your better judgment and ultimately makes you a completely different person.
While I take my hats off to the establishments that work so hard to give us a place to be ourselves and to have a good time, there are many bad things that come from being there. The one good thing I have found in a gay bar is true friends. I for one have built a close-knit family with my local bar and love each one of them dearly.
While growing old inevitably means that someday were going to die, I accept the fact and will do it gracefully. The thing I can say about my life up to this point is everything I did because I wanted to. I am happy to say that I have seen and done things, both ones I am proud of and others I am not, but they have developed me into the person I am today. I am so happy to say that God has provided me with opportunity after opportunity, and yet he has given me a second chance at life with my liver transplant.
With that being said, I would like to close by saying, I am making the most of my life. I am making strong bonds with people both in the gay community and also my family life.
I think the key to happiness is surrounding yourself with positive role models and shining in their light as well as your own. If you can do this, I see solidarity, substance, and most of all love in your life... With everything good comes an element of bad. I have found this out, with the very magazine you are reading right now. A community that was already divided survives vastly on its excuse to hate one another. I have settled into the fact, knowing that you cannot make everyone happy in our community and accept that everything is fair game here. I relish the fact, that those who know me love me, and those who don't just simply don't know the truth of the situations. I have realized in the last 5 years of the magazine, that there will always be division. It is about stepping out into the diverse world and paving a way for a new and better tomorrow. With that being said, I believe we are doing that here. Not by stepping on toes, but by merely creating a road to somewhere else. Another chapter, where people who have or haven't made a name for themselves can definitely do so with a straight, REAL chance to become one of the leaders of another organization and someone who offers opportunity for advancement. With West Virginia Queer News about to leave its mark on West Virginia history with a couple new projects that are set to kick off in 2009, it should prove to the leaders of the community that I am there for them; while others will think that I am trying to strip them of what they have known for so long. On the contrary, it’s not like that at all. We just wish to bring a bit of pride home and want to offer the female impersonators of the community a place where they can compete and feel comfortable. Rainbow Pride of WV is a historic group and has paved the way for many talented female impersonators along the way, and will continue to do so for years to come, with the help of many, notably Casey, Charlie, Covenant House, Martina, Viki, Bridget, Andy, Covenant House, and so many others. They have given the state something to look forward to, and will continue to do so again in June. While many others are taking the lead now, with Michael Egnor and Bianca Baker stepping out of the shadows and bringing yet another, wonderful pageant system home to the Tri-State. With luck to them both, we too, have taken their initiative by having our own version of Pride kicking off in August of 2009. Each endeavor is definitely different, while we all offer the same concept. Pride for one another, embracing our diversity, and expelling the image of hatred in a community that craves unity and peace with its members of... Metamorphosis In my early days of coming out, you could say I was the wild child. The one who always drank to get drunk and went out and got the man that I was after. I was a go-getter, so to speak. I don't recall ever being told “no”. I lived a life that I am lucky to have not caught anything or died from. The nights were long; the sexual encounters list was long. It's not something I am proud of but I wouldn't have done it if I didn't want it. Then I went through a metamorphosis around 23. I started to really hate the fact that I was known as an easy piece of ass. I decided then, that I would date rather than to fuc#. So, that is what I have done up until this point. Four relationships so far and hoping to finally find Mr. Right and have someone I can call my own till the day I am gone. The thing about it is, even in between each boyfriend, I would become rather slutty and enjoy the single life but since that day 5 years ago on January 26th, 2004, everything changed. When you have a close brush with death, you began to take everything in your life into account. I have found my own spirituality, my own sexuality and most of all my need to love and not have it all based around sex. I want to get to know someone before I know them in the biblical sense. Most guys these days do not think about the long term of things. They think about right now and who looks the best. Me, I want to find someone I am compatible with, someone who knows what they want and wants to be treated the way they treat others. I have found a love in myself. It's hard to believe because I still have a problem with the way my body looks since the transplant. That god awful ugly scar! I feel that my stomach has been severed into two parts. My friends all say it’s in my mind but to me, I am not quite the same. I think the hardest thing for me was before the transplant. I had all these friends; well I thought they were friends. When I went into the hospital, I thought that I would hear from them, a phone call, a card, something. I never did, it seems since I wasn't out partying and getting drunk with them, I was forgotten. I think that is why I put such an emphasis on friendship now. I want to be sure that we are not only friends within the club, but also outside of it. When you come close to dying, you find a newfound love of life. I enjoy everything, no matter how small it is now. I do not look at a person for their appearance; I look at them for their heart. It takes a special person to really offer anything to me as a friend. I have really found some special friends in my life. Many that I wasn't so sure about in the beginning but through trial and error, I see them as family and would trade nothing in the world for each of them. I sit back and see that I have changed. I have calmed down dramatically. I have begun to notice that life is not just fun and games; it is about making a difference in others’ lives. The magazine and all its contributors are exactly the difference that is needed to pave a road for tomorrow. We do not do the magazine for praise or for recognition, we do it for the sole purpose of bringing you the reader some happiness and some fun in your life. We want to experience the human compassion and human contact that essentially drives us all to walk through this thing called life.
While we all wish for unity, it seems that none of us can reach within ourselves to make the first step toward resolution and forgiveness. I think it’s more or less a case of wounded pride, and that seems to get in the way of moving away from the past and into the future.
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